Are there elements, themes or strategies that are present when working across formats? If so, these are key to your visual identification. Equally are there elements that are missing in your current project? If so, how can you incorporate these into your zine to allow your own illustrative voice to come through more clearly.
I am seeing a certain style coming through in some of the illustrations I have done so far and actually remembering them from when I was in school and to some of the types of drawings I liked then (some 30 years ago!). My style is ‘cartoony’, as I mentioned in my previous post. I tend to use flat colours especially if I draw them on a computer. Doing the zine I started of with a different idea, which I did like and probably could have developed more, it just needed simplifying. I also got caught up thinking about how it would translate into a mural and I could not work out how I could use that theme on the photo for the mural, with the windows in the way.
I realise that I am not doing enough sketches and coming up with enough different ideas at the beginning of the projects. I get one idea in my head and want to just do that. I can see it clearly and think it will be great, but actually when I am developing it I can see that it was not all that great in fact! So I am learning that the preliminary sketches are one of the most important elements of being an illustrator.
I also have realised I struggle with some other problems which impair my process, procrastination, I think and think, don’t sleep thinking and need to get those ideas out of my head and onto the paper, otherwise I forget them, plus they are usually in the night. I struggle with imposter syndrome, thinking that I am no good at any of this and what am I doing (at my age) back in university doing illustration, I can’t even draw, etc. etc. I have many other themes of wanting to stay hidden and not show myself so of course having to hand work in on a deadline plus be critiqued is excruciatingly painful. Many times per day my head is saying to quit and throw the towel in what’s the point anyway I’m only going to fail. It’s quite hard trying to be creative and productive with this awful, negative voice in my head all day.
On a positive note at least I am acknowledging this is happening and I am trying to get through it and not listen to the voice so much. The part of me that wants to learn and grow and be better sometimes wins….